Don’t rob anything on a bicycle
You should know better. If this is your attempt to get into the criminal life, understand that your career will be short and unsuccessful. This is like robbing a bank with your hand in your pocket. I realize that it seems to make sense if bicycle is all that you have. If you have not traveled in a car for a long time, a bicycle feels really fast, too. Compared to walking. It seems reasonable. When you get caught you will look stupid. People will ask, what kind of a dumbass robs a liquor-store on a bike?
Don’t masturbate where people, particularly children, can see you
I imagine you get some kind of thrill from it, but whatever you think they are feeling, whether it be awe, or some kind delight, that will not be what they feel. People love to call the cops on other people. And it is widely supposed that solo exhibitionist men are just waiting to rob unsuspecting youth of their innocence. Note that you are exactly the kind of person who has a hard time in prison.
Don’t stick loaded guns in the waistband of your sweats
They are too heavy. They will fall into your pants, which would not make them useful in an emergency, and in non-emergencies will look stupid to onlookers. If the gun goes off you will be a running joke for the rest of your life on how not to handle firearms.
If you made up your child’s name, it probably sounds stupid to the rest of us
Tactics like combining halves of the parents’ names will not change that. Marvawn (Marvin and Dawn), and Shellise (Sheldon and Elise) will not like you even if they pretend to be okay with it. I can see the kind of aesthetic that finds “Trig” and “Track” appealing. I knew kids in high-school who named their kids similarly. Kids they had while still in high school. I get it. It still doesn’t sound good.
Don’t use racial slurs around people of other races, particularly the slurs that are used against those minorities, if you want them to like you
People don’t like it. They tend to remember things like that, and associate it with you forever. The label of “racist” is not easily washed off, as it is extremely difficult to convince people that you are not something, particularly when they have good evidence that you are. Note that in most cases even regular people will will forgive an ass-kicking if delivered when provoked by racial or homophobic insults.
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