July 2010
2 posts
2 tags
The secret of all success
The truth is that the world will not beat a path to your door if you invent the better mousetrap. This notion gives people way too much credit. If your better mousetrap looks like nothing before it they will ignore you. The guy who steals your idea from the 3rd or 4th guy to steal it will be successful. This is after they have been gradually introduced to the new concept by several people...
Why movies should be even more violent than they...
Rifftrax looks at Twilight: New Moon We can’t kill people in real life Well, we can, technically, it’s just not feasible. Killing somebody in real life is a whole lot more work than watching somebody pretend to do it on a screen. It also has fewer moral ramifications. It’s like watching porn, it’s a lot simpler than going out and finding yourself a hooker, isn’t...
June 2010
2 posts
Why the Internet will Rock Forever
http://amplify.com/u/723i Posted via web from lowlyserfdom | Comment »
Why the Internet will Rock Forever →
May 2010
3 posts
Those Damn Outsiders
http://amplify.com/u/6j46 Posted via web from lowlyserfdom | Comment »
Those Damn Outsiders →
You really should listen to your mother...
She does not want to admit that she fucked up with the parenting thing. You will never again have anybody this personally involved with your success or failure in life, nobody this intensely invested in your happiness. It feels smothering but given that it’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing you can’t afford to take it for granted. Sure, your father is invested too, but with him it’s...
February 2010
1 post
The Fried Chicken Conspiracy
The American fried chicken chain Popeye’s. Look at it carefully. Look at the name. Popeye’s. What else do you see there? You see a hidden message. If you are not one of the very few, the erudite and sharp-eyed to have caught it prior to reading this article then let me educate you: The message consists of two words that should strike fear into the heart of every free-thinking...
January 2010
30 posts
Born in chaos
Life, in case you have not yet noticed, is degrading to women, racist, against all races and mixing of races. History, the story of life, both in its truths and its lies, is an affront to the sensibilities of the civilized person. It makes no sense, is brutal and stupid, is the story of a race of bumblers and perverts, sadists and pompous morons who did what they did and died. To not learn it is...
A killer in your house...
If you were to find a serial killer in your house now, say, a strangler, or a ripper, you would not be terrified. I am thinking that this is what gets most victims in trouble. In the news, and in the movies, serial killers are these bizarre people who wear masks and display their intentions in their mean expressions (Director: “Look menacing! No, that’s not good enough. More menace! Menace...
Ghosts and the people who claim to have seen them
You know why ghosts aren’t scary even on an anecdotal level? because none of the people who have seen them are credible. They aren’t credible because the people who see them are not fascinated with finding out more, have not given their lives over to finding scientific proof, an explanation, a logical reason. If you saw a ghost it would change your life. You would not merely become some weirdo who...
The skills that will really be useful in your...
Wilderness survivalist skills will be of limited usefulness. Bear Grylls knows that he has a bed to go home to, that this is not all there will ever be. He knows that the shit he eats is not tainted, and that there is no one out there who wants to rape, or kill and eat him. Fighting-skills are only useful if you still have energy enough to fight, and the other people aren’t better fed, more...
The way of the idiot
http://amplify.com/u/1iwe Posted via web from lowlyserfdom | Comment »
Ideas for breeding war-dogs
I think we should be breeding dogs . Big, giant, horse-sized dogs. Dogs that are smart, but not too smart lest they try to kill us. Thick and built low to the ground like pit-bulls, but with strong backs so that we can ride them into battle. These dogs should have hearts that are easily removed so that they can be implanted with artificial ones, made from bulletproof steel and plastic. The steel...
Mouse with glasses
http://amplify.com/u/1its Posted via web from lowlyserfdom | Comment »
Mouse with glasses →
How to keep most black people from hating you
http://bit.ly/5JBzG3 Posted via web from lowlyserfdom | Comment »
Being caught in bed with another man’s wife... →
Sex abuse accused father fights back
http://amplify.com/u/1inq Posted via web from lowlyserfdom | Comment »
Sex abuse accused father fights back →
Cooking is war
The food is your ammunition, your range is your weaponry, the people you must feed, the enemy. Your job, as a chef is to kill the motherfuckers, kill them all. Take no prisoners. You make sure you have enough enough ammo, that your weapons are clean so that when you open fire it will be heavy and sustained and brutal. Count every “I’m full, thanks”, every “no more”,...
Good things that can come from a disaster
This is not about dismissing or trivializing the suffering of others. The fact is that shit happens, and when it does, it is your job to pick the kernels of corn out and use the rest for fertilizer.
Feeling no pain An appreciation of health/the state of nonsuffering. Being poor is bad. Being desperately poor is really bad. What’s worse is being desperately poor and sick and stuck in some...
Things that you should not wonder when she tells...
How afterbirth tastes That’s for the mother. Afterbirth is for the mother to eat after delivery to replenish all the nutrients she has lost. Dad’s who try to eat afterbirth in the delivery-room are universally regarded as assholes by medical staff. At best you have to offer it to her before you dig in.
If you get to sleep with hookers while she heals Many wives will allow this if you...
Predicaments #1: caught by the cuckold
Scenario: Being caught in bed with another man’s wife. Not just any wife of any man, but the wife of a man who will kill you, in a place where he could do it and get away with it.
Mid-thrust, 5 thrusts away from coming to an end, the long-awaited ejaculation and going to sleep for the night in the motel-room. You are exhausted by all the different positions, and her sheer enthusiasm. There is a...
Independent Pizza Joint in a high-crime area: a...
We used to have a girl who was paid 15.00 an hour just to give blow jobs to the health inspectors. Not that the place was filthy or anything, much the opposite, the boss ran a tight ship, but nobody else in town did, and the health inspectors were used to being able to extort money. Hector, the boss, found that he could save money by giving a particularly easy girl a raise and letting her take...
Last Season’s Dead
Poor Omar Some little punk kid killed you. A hero with balls of steel has gone down, taken out by an anonymous juvenile. Marlo gets to retire. At least you took out Stringer. Would you have shot the kid if you had the chance? Is this how lone wolves die?
Poor Half-sack Now you go to the grave to join your lost ball. You of the people on this list died the most undignified of deaths, at the...
4 tags
The pros and cons of necrophilia
The pros:
Not demanding at all No need for you to be romantic, or to cater to her in any way at all. It’s your show. It’s like having a hooker, but one who can’t run screaming from the room. There will be no complaints, and no one to sigh impatiently if your erection takes a little time. You cannot but get what you want, providing what you want is a completely passive partner.
...
Awkward dinnertime situations #1
Preacher Rape
They had the preacher over for leftover turkey and horse-radish casserole, a specialty of Mrs Sylvia Wong. Pastor Ron Gooden was new at the Blessed Life Tabernacle and had not heard the stories of the Wongs. He was a married man in his fifties, prematurely gray, deeply tanned, and a highly charismatic speaker. The deacons thought he needed to be taken down a peg for being so...
Basic lessons of deep wisdom
Don’t rob anything on a bicycle You should know better. If this is your attempt to get into the criminal life, understand that your career will be short and unsuccessful. This is like robbing a bank with your hand in your pocket. I realize that it seems to make sense if bicycle is all that you have. If you have not traveled in a car for a long time, a bicycle feels really fast, too....
What to do with that corpse
You can eat it From what I’ve heard it tastes like pork. Better to get the taste for long pig when you don’t really have to than try to overcome the revulsion when your plane crashes in the Andes. The whole problem is that you people have life easy, you don’t get the necessity of not letting meat waste. You think tastefulness is a legitimate part of life. Life consists of vile...
Untitled
Your knowledge has a shelf-life as it relates to you. It’s like learning to use a machine immediately before it becomes obsolete. Everything you know now will later be useless. The key is to learn and use quickly. but that never works out as planned. Posted via email from Team Lowlife | Comment »
You will miss everything
When the shit that would really blow your mind (as your mind is now) comes along, you will be in the grave, probably for a long time. Your memory will be wadded up in a history book along with all the people from the era as one big generalization, all your endeavors lost like Rutger Hauer’s tears.
You will miss the cure for death as everybody who has ever died missed it, you will miss the...
5 tags
Getting more eligible women online
If you spend most of your time online then it’s obvious that the things that you would most likely have in common with anybody else will be the online things. If you want to meet a lady and have a conversation with her then it would be best if she spent most of her life online too, that way you both could feel like you had something to share. That’s why I propose a multi-part scheme...
What the Internet needs
Note: If these any of things already exist feel free to comment and tell me so.
A place to get revenge I have heard the slogan that “/b is not your personal army”, in reference to 4chan’s /b message-board when people have tried to incite them to handle personal battles. What if it were, though? Or what if you could call upon some group of anonymous individuals to settle scores...
The World is Ready for Another Hitler
You know this world is ripe for a takeover. Back in the day, and by “day” I mean the earlier parts of human history, a man could find all kinds of gullible suckers to embark upon any kind of bullshit notion he wanted. It was like a planet full of retards in which the ambitious average man could not help but be king. People had no access to education, and nothing about their daily lives...
5 points about hacks
Hack definition:
” a professional who renounces or surrenders individual independence, integrity, belief, etc., in return for money or other reward in the performance of a task normally thought of as involving a strong personal commitment.”
or,
“a person who works solely for mercenary reasons”
1. Every hack thinks they are exceptional at what they do They mistake being...
December 2009
23 posts
How to get your ass kicked every time
Always underestimate your enemy The reason people do this is to keep from bravery, to summon up the balls to fight. If you can pretend that your enemy doesn’t have the skills to give you a good fight then you don’t need to be so afraid of them. It’s a way that fearful people try to psyche themselves into a warrior’s mindset. You take a cartoonishly simple view of your...
Bondage Cartoon
Bondage
Posted via email from jreemy | Comment »
The ultimate vector for granny's bullshit
Some see the potential of the Internet to communicate, to build community and relationships, some see it as a creative platform, a means to invent and to share things they believe to be novel or profound. But what if you have nothing to communicate? What if you have no capacity to appreciate, much less invent anything that is original or challenging? Then you share the emotionally manipulative,...
What can be appealing about women
A viable sense of humor Here is something that almost no women have. Sure they can giggle at shit, but mostly it’s unfunny, retarded shit that has no value and no consequence. Show me a woman that can belly-laugh at the Marx Brothers or at Chappelle’s Show and I will show you a woman who can charm almost any smart man and cause dramatic ball-retracting insecurity in the rest.
A...
Bondage Rabbit
Bondage
Posted via email from jreemy | Comment »
Bondage ropes
Posted via web from jreemy | Comment »
Happiness is not for your mediocre ass
All the happiest people seem to have gone through some tremendous period of suffering in their lives. Usually combined with excess. Drug excess, sexual excess, religious excess, excessive avarice, sadism, killing. Suffering along with overcoming some monumental weakness, that’s your secret to the fulfilled life. This means that your disease-riddled crack-whore currently selling $5 blowjobs...
The key ingredients of the Negro sidekick
The idea is to provide a sense of racial well-being in a white audience, while giving black audiences a stake in the show. That’s all. Nothing more is required of the Negro sidekick. They don’t have to be a very good actor as they are primarily just a prop.
They need to be non-stereotypical as this will remove any negative feelings the black part of the audience will have. It...
Zach Braff and swine, hog-meat, pig-flesh
I don’t know if you have noticed but Zach Braff seems to be an asshole in real life. I caught an interview with him on Kimmel the other night and he was there, apparently in character as JD from Scrubs, which used to be a fun, relatively clever show and now is not. He was in character, but without the writing staff that the show had a few years back, the ones that made him seem likable. The...
The final solution to the immigration problem
If illegal immigrants are like a contamination of the blood, like an infection, then the solution has to go a lot deeper than rounding up and deporting. You have to go back and find the root of the problem. Who started this whole notion of “immigration in the first place? It’s that Statue of Liberty bitch with that “give us your whatevers” spiel. You need to tear that shit...
What wearing a gold chain over your shirt says...
You wear a gold chain on the outside of your shirt. Before I tell you what this says about you, let me point out that you could be a pretty cool person, fun to be around, and with an all-round decent character. You might be able to make me laugh and may be the kind who does favors for the helpless even when there is no possible way they could pay you back. If this is so and you still like wearing...
Why many retail customers are the way they are
If you have ever had the privilege of associating with your fellow man from behind a store counter then you know the feeling of wanting watch them spit up their own teeth.
Most people with money to spend, no matter how little it is, seem to expects that you, lowly cashier, lowly stock clerk, will naturally want to give them a prolonged rim job at the expense of all your other customers and all...